The Boss’ Dilemma

I’m not meant for management.

I don’t mean that in the sense that I don’t like telling people what to do because really the opposite is true. I’d love nothing more than to have an entire army of minions who’s lives would be given to me freely as an homage to my greatness. Unfortunately that kind of help costs quite a bit and I’d probably have include dental and a decent pension so for now I’m stuck.

My biggest problem with a management position is the inherent hypocrisy. I’m forced to tell people to do things that I wouldn’t want to do myself. Of course if those working under me don’t do their job properly then I’m the one who gets to hear about it from above. I’m either hated by those I’m in charge of or seen as ineffective by my own managers. I will never understand those who actively seek this type of work.

Of course when I discuss management I must add the disclaimer that I’m not actually a manager by title. I’m more of a supervisor although officially I’m a “Team Lead”. This shining example of corporate speak is neither descriptive nor flattering. Those who’s charge I am entrusted with could never be referred to as a “team”. They’re just poor shmucks who needed some money and actually thought that this position was a gateway into the exciting world of IT. Each has their own interests and goals in mind the second they step through the door(and presumably when they leave as well, I just don’t have to deal with them then).

The second folly related to my title is the inclusion of “lead”. Those I work with don’t follow what I do in the slightest. My position is better described as “the guy who’s here all the time and who kinda knows what’s going on since he’s been here the longest since he’s too lazy to go elsewhere”. Of course I still am technically in charge here but they don’t seem to notice anyway. There are only so many times I can correct someone until I just give up and let them continue making mistakes as I browse around for some smurf porn that I haven’t already seen a million times before.

To make a long post even longer I’m pretty sure the only reason they don’t want to call me supervisor is that supervisor sounds like it should pay more. I asked for the official reason and they claimed that supervisor is a harsh word which is associated with authority and oppression. Team Lead is more friendly and helpful. People would be happy if their Team Lead asked them to mop up the water spill on the floor! These are the kind of answers that make me not want to ask anything ever again.

Will someone please teach me how to fish?

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